Today is the 10^th Anniversary of National Fatherhood Day.

I have been contemplating for weeks what I would write about on this special Anniversary to celebrate a decade of National Fatherhood Day observance.

I decided that I would ask a question.

Has any of this made a difference?

Has my messaging, and highlighting, and promoting of the importance of a family structure and a father in the home been an impulse to thought- and, more importantly, to action for anyone, anywhere?

Have people- has any person- amplified and distributed these ideas and concerns to their friends, or associates, or neighbors, or viewers? Have people- or any person- taken an action that he or she may not have otherwise taken to help a child in his or her community- or taken responsibility for his own child for whom he has been derelict and irresponsible?

I said early-on in this venture that The Fatherhood Assignment and National Fatherhood Day were not created to raise money- they were created to raise hopes and awareness, and to stir thoughts and encourage actions.

Has any of this happened from these efforts?

National Fatherhood Day was created to encourage this country- this broken, damaged country- to give thought to what is really happening in society, and to society, and to contemplate how the breakdown of the family may be at the root of our problems (we know- or any thinking person knows- that the Internet is a major cause of society’s problems). If every child had a present, active, caring father, could every problem, or most problems, even the problem of the devastating drug that is the Internet that causes and enhances so much evil and depression, be overcome? Could all or most people be better, stronger, happier with the teaching of values and feeling of security that a father- a sober and active father- provides to and for a child.

Maybe my messages have resonated and been amplified and shared. Maybe they have been an impulse to action by a person, or by many people who have the resources and reach to effect change.

Maybe not. But I will press on.

Because without hopes, and dreams, and goals, and purposes beyond our own self-interests, then we become the negative impulses that we fear will surround children who need hopes, and dreams, and goals, and purposes- and children without fathers really need these things and really need places to find them.

Be well. Stay well. Do well. And Happy 10-year National Fatherhood Day Anniversary!

Yours truly,

-Neil Siskind, Founder, National Fatherhood Day, 2014

https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Go-Home-for-Dinner/Mike-Pence/9781982190361

Go Home for Dinner is filled with practical, timeless advice about how readers can pursue their dreams while keeping their family close. This is a book for anyone who wants to achieve their goals and put their family and faith at the center of their life—but who needs a nudge to get home in time for dinner.

Raise My Taxes … Please!

by Neil S. Siskind

Every youth- between 10 and 17- likes and enjoys one (or more) of the following:

1. Science and science fiction
2. Arts- writing, painting, drawing, designing, dancing
3. Sports
4. Entrepreneurship
5. Nature and animals
6. Mechanical work

And when people do not have something for which they have a passion, in which they can see a future, and/or something at which they can excel- then they enjoy weed, and Tik-Tok, and fighting, instead; because at least they can excel at stupidity.

It’s something, at least.

To any governor and state legislator who would raise my taxes to provide for after school programs for any of the above, and require youths to pick one and attend, I’m happy to pay the tax to get the kids off the streets, wasting time, waiting or looking for problems, getting high or drunk, and starting fights- instead of engaging in a productive skill or hobby that they enjoy and that makes them want to live, be free of harm, and not hurt others.

When you have nothing- nothing matters. When you’re good at nothing, you find something stupid to be good at- like fighting, and mob violence, and hating others. You have to give kids something to care about and take pride in excelling at. All people need something to care about and to be proud of … especially kids. And it’s the state and local governments’ jobs to see to it if parents are not getting it done. And if the wealthy need to be taxed to provide for these programs in communities, then so be it.

LETTER FROM THE FOUNDER

Where’s the Darn Dad?

While this story is, in and of itself, a total disgrace, as in all of these types of stories, my first question is, “Where is the father?”. These stories always quote the mom … but there’s often never a dad in the picture … or in the victim’s life.

Let’s End Bullying At School

Here’s another example of school bullying going unaddressed by school administration:

https://www.nj.com/hudson/2019/01/moms-say-jersey-city-school-ignored-reports-of-bullying.html

In all reports and stories of bullying, and of child abuse of any sort, I take particular note of stories and reports in which no father is mentioned- leading me to believe that there is no father present, and, further, that these children are extra vulnerable because of it.

As for bullying, The Fatherhood Assignment and The Siskind Law Firm are joining forces to develop a service to ensure that it stops- since no one else is seemingly able to do it. Even organizations designed to educate the public and offer advice about bullying do not do anything to actually stop the bullying.

Stay tuned for developments …

Prison & Criminal Justice Reforms- Misguided
By NEIL SISKIND

The federal and state governments are beginning to really focus on criminal justice reforms so that convicted criminals have second chances, which is important for the safety of society.

I agree that reforms are desperately needed.

Governments believe that they are being “proactive” in that they are preparing criminals for success in the real world through rehabilitation- rather than “reactive” through just spending money to punish them over and over with prison sentences after crimes occur (of course, it is also the intention of governments to keep society safe from violence and recidivism).

On this, I do not “completely” agree.

Governments are missing the point that providing training and tools to convicted criminals in prison is already being “reactive”- and not “proactive”. Lawmakers’ hearts and minds are in the right places- but once people are in prison, it’s, often, already too late.

Governments- state and local- and even federal- need to focus money and resources on at-risk youths in broken homes. Programs designed to be truly “proactive” in youths’ lives would be money better-spent than trying to reform and rehabilitate criminals- statistically difficult.

Using money and resources for “both” guiding at-risk youths and rehabilitating convicted criminals would be ideal. But if one or the other has to be chosen- as budgets often require- it is far more important to reach at-risk youths and give them direction and purpose for their lives- at any cost.

Father Variations- Manage Yours

There are may variations of a “father” that one can have. There is no black or white, or good or bad. There just is, what is.

A person can have an absent father. A person can have a present father. A person can have a present father who is an abusive father. A person can have an absent father who is incarcerated or who passed away … and so on.

Regardless, you have to remember that you are person independent of your father. You are not a product of your father, or the result of your father’s parenting. You are simply “you”. No matter what variation of a father you had, you have to become a person independent of how that relationship went or what that variation was or is. You have to put it behind you and “de-factor” it from who you will be.

Some of us had a good variation of a father, some bad, some in the middle, some in the middle leaning to good, some in the middle leaning to bad. Whatever it was or is, it has to be decoupled from who you become.

We are not daughters or sons, first. We are “us” … “ourselves”, first. We are the victims of someone else’s mistakes or shortcomings- last … if at all. Someone had the chance to be a success or failure, as a man, and as a father. He had his choice to be a winner or a loser, to be good or be bad. Now you have yours. Your burden is not to live-out your father’s mistakes. That was his burden. You don’t have a burden- other than to avoid making your own.

Whatever kind of father you had- or didn’t have- you had the variation that you had- and you have to manage it, if it was not good, by putting it in the rear view mirror where it belongs. Your job is to be “you”. So do it right.

We are not daughters or sons, first. We are “us” … “ourselves” … first.

Learn more about The Fatherhood Assignment here: http://www.neil-siskind-the-fatherhood-assignment.org/