As some sort of corporate slogan, companies today talk about “giving back”. It’s not about “giving back”. It’s about “giving”. You don’t have to “get” before you give.
-Neil Siskind
Read about The Fatherhood Assignment: http://www.neil-siskind-the-fatherhood-assignment.org/
By: Neil S. Siskind
Criminals are like the rest of us in that they want to be recognized for at least something. People who have no chance of or skills to achieve anything good, have to achieve a high level of bad. They want to be seen as the toughest…. the meanest….. or the craziest. You’ll hear criminals and gang members often talk about getting “respect”. They want to excel at least at something, and crime and violence is where they can accomplish.
For example, Osama Bin Laden had no skills or talents to build great ships, or big buildings, or strong businesses, like his father did- so he had to show his great skill at destroying them. Another example is Adolph Hitler, who couldn’t create life and was probably sterile (he had no children), so he took an extraordinary number of lives as his alternative achievement. It’s all they could do … just to show that they could excel at least at something.
Criminals who lash out at others, attack others, or seek to take from others are attempting, in their own minds, to achieve something. Rather than succeed on their own merits with hard work, they want to excel in diminishing or destroying that which the talents of others have created. This, to them, is success. This is the result of desperation in finding something in which they can excel.
Take someone you see failing or flailing, and who seems lost or hopeless, who has never tasted achievement or success, and try help them find something they can do besides attack, insult and hurt others as their greatest achievement.
Read about The Fatherhood Assignment: http://www.neil-siskind-the-fatherhood-assignment.org/
The Fatherhood Assignment supports The Mentoring Center and any organization that helps youths with absent fathers who are in need of guidance http://mentor.org/
Learn more about The Fatherhood Assignment at http://www.neil-siskind-the-fatherhood-assignment.org/
Caring is Free® is a registered trademark of Neil Siskind
On the Internet, kids get bullied, adults get bullied, individuals get bullied, small businesses get bullied. A bully is a bully- no matter the age, no matter if it’s on social media, on Yelp, on TripAdvisor, via email, or anywhere else on the Internet. Mean and intimidating words meant to harass, intimidate, humiliate or hurt- IS BULLYING. This new app is here to help. If you see bullying- say so. Help stop the meanness!
Read about The Fatherhood Assignment: http://www.neil-siskind-the-fatherhood-assignment.org/
LeBron James: Can We Compare Pains?
By: Neil Siskind
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After winning the NBA Championship, LeBron James, in a post-game interview, talked about his trials and tribulations and the struggles he overcame to reach his goal. Certain sports analysts are taking umbrage with LeBron’s comments, saying that LeBron is a physically-gifted person with a lot of money and success who has achieved great things and should not feel that he has been through extraordinarily-difficult challenges. Such analysts site, for example, that James has not had it as hard as construction workers working in 100 degree weather, firefighters who run into burning buildings, sanitation workers hanging off the rear of garbage trucks in the dead of Winter, or people with chronic illnesses.
Is this fair?
Can we compare people’s pains? Is pain relative?
Certainly LeBron James has a “materially” successful life, and has had such for many years now. And he has earned his money playing sports- quite a privilege. But the fact of the matter is that LeBron James grew up without even knowing who his father is. Who is to decide if his pain is valid? His pain, like any other person’s, can not be diminished. Moreover, pain is subjective. What is simply a bad situation for one person may be a completely demoralizing and debilitating agony for another. It is subjective- and rightly so.
A life without a father can not be measured and compared with another kind of challenge. If LeBron feels that he has pain and had to overcome pain- then that is the end of the commentary. No one can tell LeBron, or any other person who has no father, that he doesn’t deserve to feel the level of pain that he has experienced from the void. Even if a person’s pain is overblown…it is still “his or her” pain to overcome. If in “his or her” mind it is a lot of pain- then- simply by definition- he or she has overcome a lot.
It is not a matter of who has more pain- it a matter of who feels challenged, or damaged, or hurt- and how much it took for him or her to get past it. Every person has the right to celebrate such success.
Learn more about The Fatherhood Assignment here: http://www.neil-siskind-the-fatherhood-assignment.org/
LeBron James: Victim & Champion
By: Neil Siskind
www.siskindlawfirm.com
www.neilsiskindsupports.com
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LeBron James was the victim of an absent father- but he is a “champion” on and off the court. He is a scorer, a leader, a “present” father, and a philanthropist.
NBA Champion, LeBron James, posted the following statement on Twitter:
“Because of you Pops! Thanks. All along could have said why me with u not being there, but look what I made of myself.”
The attitude of a champion, the heart of a champion. LeBron never even met his father. But he persevered, practiced and stayed out of trouble. Sure he was blessed with God-given talent. But everyone has their own special quality to trade on. Your “special quality” is not that you have an absent father. That is your “challenge”. Like LeBron, let your challenge feed your special quality or skill- and your desire to capitalize on it. You don’t have to be a star athlete or a movie star- you just have to be an honest and productive “you”.
“You can’t climb to the top of a mountain if the sides are all smooth.”
Learn more about The Fatherhood Assignment here: http://www.neil-siskind-the-fatherhood-assignment.org/
Internet Bullying
By: Neil Siskind
www.siskindlawfirm.com
www.neilsiskindsupports.com
http://neilsiskind.com/
Internet bullying is growing….and is deadly. Fathers need to teach their sons that using chat rooms, posting boards and social media to embarrass and hurt other people is not manly. It is cowardly, and it is the way that weak and powerless people handle anger.
Being bullied is no fun. And being a bully is no accomplishment. Show young men in your respective lives the manner in which strong and decent men resolve their issues, and this will provide them a blueprint for how young men who want to achieve great things in life must behave. Writing mean things on the Internet about good people or hardworking business owners in ones own community is not a blueprint for success in life. You can set the example of behavior that a young man needs to follow for him to achieve worthwhile things in life by dealing with people using courage and decency. With those skills, anything can be achieved. You can be anything. Without them, nothing can be achieved. You will be nothing. Take the time to teach a “young” man how to be a “real” man.
Winners runaround TAKING SHOTS at success. Losers sitaround TAKING SHOTS at the winners.
-Neil Siskind
–Neil Siskind, Founder & Chairman
Kids are Veterans too
By: Neil Siskind
www.siskindlawfirm.com
www.neilsiskindsupports.com
http://neilsiskind.com/
Those who have courageously served in our armed forces are called “veterans”. As we know, enormous sacrifices for our country have been made not only by these brave warriors….but also by their supportive families. In many cases, children, like their fathers, make the ultimate sacrifice- they sacrifice the life of a family member for the good of the country. As such, the children of soldiers are also “veterans”.
Thousands of children have lost fathers in recent wars. Hundreds of thousands, perhaps even millions of children have lost fathers since the Revolutionary War (certainly there have been millions of American deaths in battle since this time, but it is unknown how many of these soldiers were parents).
When you think about “veterans”, think about the children left behind from the loss of life through war. The children live with the scars. The children live without fathers. If you love veterans, give love to a child who lost a father in war. Such a child is, him or herself, a veteran……..and a trooper.
Read about The Fatherhood Assignment: http://www.neil-siskind-the-fatherhood-assignment.org/
Who’s Serving the Sentences?
By: Neil Siskind
www.siskindlawfirm.com
www.neilsiskindsupports.com
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A man commits a violent crime, pleads guilty, and is sentenced to 10 years in prison. Well deserved.
But he has two children, a 4 year old boy and a 5 year old girl. How will the voids in their lives be filled? Who will be their father? Not only do they have one less provider and protector, but, with some likelihood, they are in an environment where crime thrives around them.
These children are now set up for trouble; to become criminals as a survival strategy, or simply as the result of following the example set for them. Through nature or nurture, survival or thrills, the potential for their own criminal behavior is high.
Alternatively, they could now become crime victims where they have no paternal figure to provide security.
What role does the government play in the lives of such children? By the time of sentencing, the respective court or district attorney is well aware that a respective defendant has children. Are there any programs in place to ensure the safety of these children? Who will pay for their food if their mother does not work? Who knows? Who cares?
These children must now learn the harsh realities of life- and fast. They have no father. They may have no money. They may not be safe. Nobody cares.
The Fatherhood Assignment was created to contemplate and advocate for the addressing of such a problem. We encourage and implore communities as well as governments to develop programs and systems to take care of children when their fathers go to prison. We, as a society, should not, necessarily, support the children financially (aside from financial aid programs for which the family is eligible). But we should ensure the children’s basic safety from harm, famine and absence of acceptable shelter when their father is imprisoned. These are community and governmental concerns and responsibilities. Communities and/or governments should also ensure that a responsible, vetted, male figure is, at the least, helpful in the children’s lives and in providing some level of paternal guidance. The Fatherhood Assignment can help in this regard.
Criminals should serve their sentences. But children should not serve their parents’ sentences by living in fear, poverty and danger and with no paternal oversight at all. That is not justice……that’s just creating more victims.
It’s More Than Music & Movies
By: Neil Siskind
www.siskindlawfirm.com
www.neilsiskindsupports.com
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The media delivers inspirational story after inspirational story of athletes, actors and musicians who overcame adversity to achieve their respective dreams. Entertainers constantly talk on television about how hard their childhoods were. Professional athletes regularly discuss growing up in tough urban neighborhoods and escaping through sports in televised interviews. But where is the consistent flow of televised stories about the scientists, the school teachers, the state prosecutors or the architects who overcame troubled home-lives to achieve success in their chosen professions? Why are there not pediatricians crying on camera nightly on major networks while telling their stories of adversity and success? Why is that it’s always actors and musicians who are broadcast on television being vociferous and outspoken and emotional about their adversity? What about youths who do not have a good singing voice or an athletic build? Can’t they escape difficult childhoods too?
Where is the inspiration for youth who are living in difficult circumstances to see that they can overcome their circumstances to become not singers and NFL stars, but accountants and nurses? Youths need to see people like this to whom they can relate so they know that happiness comes from places other than acting and sports.
I implore the media to broadcast moving and inspirational stories to our youth, not only about singers and guitar players who have succeeded despite their difficult beginnings- but about those who have succeeded in math and science, public affairs and law, medicine and education. There is passion and adversity there too- and there is troubled youth with abilities in those areas who need inspiring.
Read about The Fatherhood Assignment: http://www.neil-siskind-the-fatherhood-assignment.org/