Be Very Present to Fill the Void
By: Carolyn Abrams-Dyer
Early Childhood Educator
As a widowed mom and early childhood teacher, the topic of absent fathers brings up a lot for me. My sons never had a dad. He died when they were infants. I was lucky enough to stay home the first 5 years. I gave them all of my focus and attention. They are now incredible young men. Their father’s absence (due to death) has left a permanent scar. It will never be completely gone but my sacrifice and unconditional love and support gave them everything else. The answer always is that the parent who is there must do everything they can to be there and to be PRESENT in every way possible. Children will feel less abandoned when they know their surviving parent is there for them, always, no matter what. I never found a worthy stepfather for them. It hurt that I didn’t, but I was able to keep my focus on them and myself. Much healthier.